"Sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't have to do what everyone else is doing."
I find myself constantly drawn to this quote, and especially lately. As a young 19 year old woman living in Utah I see other women my age almost always doing the same thing, and that is: getting married, having babies, or waiting for a missionary. I'm not anti-marriage, anti-children, and I'm not even anti-missionary, but I do feel that 19 is an age far too young to decide to be tied to something for the rest of your life - and especially not to a man.
I have a deep connection and adoration for young women that realize you do not need a man in your life for your life to have meaning. A man does not define your self-worth. Women together, should come together and empower one another. But increasingly and especially in the society I grew up in, women and young girls cling to a man, for reasons I have never quite understood.
So before you choose to tie the knot or have children; I hope that you take the time to find yourself. Make sure that you know what you believe in. Make sure that you are confident in who you are and what you want in life. I mean this in religious and political virtues, and making sure you have the career you want. If you want to travel, do it. If you wish to date around, do so, but always have respect for yourself and your boundaries. Get an education and learn about everything in the world. If you want to have a drink, be responsible. If you want to get a tattoo, get one and make sure it has meaning. Do stupid things with your best friend. Write everything down and always take pictures. Be kind, be gentle, be understanding, and think before you judge.
I've been blessed in my life to have a mother that has been the strongest example of what a woman should represent. Through her wisdom and constant guidance she has taught me more than anyone else could have ever taught me. My mother has always said words to the effect of, "You need to find yourself. Understand what you believe in. Never settle for anything less than the best." As I get older I understand what she is saying more and more. That comes with age, I guess, and letting go of the "I know everything" attitude I clung onto for so long. (And still do, but I'm working on it.) Along with trying to drop the attitude I hide behind, I am more willing to listen. Not that half listen kind of thing either, but really pay attention to the words, meaning, and emotions when a person is speaking to me.
I don't want my opinions of not wanting to wait for a man to seem as if I am belittling women who choose to do so. Although, I do hope that by voicing my opinion other women will think twice about what they want in life. If you are a woman reading this, I wish for you to realize that you are strong, confident, and beautiful. If you have goals and dreams, follow them. You can do anything you want to do, for that is the beauty of this place. I pray for you to have the courage to do anything you want to do in life and for you to empower not only yourself, but to empower your mothers, daughters, nieces, aunts, grandmas, granddaughters, and friends to do whatever it is that makes them happy; and do it for yourself. It's never too late to start.
God bless, XOXO,
It's Her Journey
